In The Beginning There Was Dean Gaffney

This whole project started with a wish to connect with everyone’s favourite faltering celeb, Mr Dean Gaffney, who is best known for his role in Eastenders as the Alsation hugging, spot-popping teen Robbie Jackson. It may seem he was an easy target, and at the time I thought so too, but I’ve since come to realise that in this game there are no easy targets.

After coming up with a playful concept for a show, I found his agent’s email address and sent this through. So began Celebriteasing.

Dear Roger Carey Associates,
 
I’m hoping for some information on the availability in the coming months of Mr Dean Gaffney. I’m pitching an idea for a pilot to a variety of production companies and believe I will have a far greater chance of success if Mr Dean Gaffney has already expressed his willingness to be involved. 
 
The show is to be titled Dean of The College. Running for an intended eight shows in its initial series, the premise is that Mr Dean Gaffney will take a GCSE exam each week with contestants betting a stake on what grade they think he will achieve. The bulk of the show will be focused on Mr Dean Gaffney, following him as he finds out what subject he has to revise for that week and seeing how he copes with exam pressure. Basically I am pitching the show with Mr Dean Gaffney as the weight behind it. Following his popularity after the Jungle I feel he has the homely appeal and personality to engage the audience and draw them in. Also, I should note that all the exams Mr Dean Gaffney would take would be fully accredited and he would be receiving qualifications for all successfully taken examinations. I am currently in talks with Jackie Gill to see if we can get Anneka Rice on board as a presenter, although I am experiencing issues regarding a frankly unreasonable rider.  
 
I look forward to hearing from you.

I loved the idea of Dean proving them all wrong. Could he sneak a couple of B grades? Would he be able to top my miraculous, revisionless C for Science? What exactly was on Anneka Rice’s rider that was so ‘unreasonable’? I had to get a reply. Surely the guy who had come runner up to Boyzone’s Keith Duffy in The Door would be up for something a little less taxing on the heart. 24-hours later I got this curt response.

I’m sorry but this would not be for Dean.

Good luck with it
 
Best
 

ROGER CAREY ASSOCIATES

A failure? No. I was elated. I had been considered serious enough to warrant a response. With a few tweaks, I could surely snag a celebrity with some outlandish show idea. A few tweaks later, I did.

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